


In Time

by 15ekaytert887



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan - Freeform, Drinking, Drugs Made Them Do It, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Reconciliation, Season/Series 03, The Enchanted Forest (Once Upon a Time), The Jolly Roger | The Jewel of the Realm (Once Upon a Time), Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:40:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22870537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/15ekaytert887/pseuds/15ekaytert887
Summary: Emma is trapped aboard the Jolly Roger with an angry, drunken, and lust feuled Captain Hook. Can Killian save her before it's too late?Takes place during the time travel episodes at the end of season 3
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There violence and attempted rape in this story. Read at your own discretion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is eventual violence and attempted rape in this story. Read at your own discretion.

"There I am, rather dashing don't you think?" Killian gestured to Hook playing dice across the tavern.

"Is this even a good idea?" Emma asked "What about preserving the future?"

Killian wasn't sure that this was a good idea, not at all in fact, but it was the only idea that they had come up with that had a chance at actually working. "It'll be fine." He told her "given what I'm drinking if I do remember anything I'll simply blame the rum." He added hoping to appease not just Emma, but himself as well. "Just be sure that I – he" Killian stammered, "remains occupied and doesn't return to my ship, I'll take care of the rest."

Killian said, looking over at Emma and then turning back towards the man he had once been, the knot of worry in his stomach growing larger. 

"Ok." He heard Emma say, he turned back to her in time to see her remove her brown cloak and begin unlacing the top of her already all to revealing corset.

"What, What are you doing?" He stuttered, holding up his hand to stop her from freeing her breasts anymore.

"Making sure he stays occupied." Emma responded in a mocking tone "It shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type." She smirked at him, a knowing glint in her eye. Killian scowl deepened. That was a low blow and Emma knew it but it was more than that. Killian didn't like the idea of Emma anywhere near Hook. He had thought that Emma would just stay at their table and keep a look out, maybe cause a distraction if she saw Hook get up to leave. But she was actually planning on going up to him, didn't she understand the danger she could be in by doing that? Captain Hook was not a man to be toyed with. And Killian knew how much his Swan did love to tease. Although he loved her for it now, the man he used to be would not appreciate the same way Killian did.

Emma got up from the table, ready to make her way towards Hook, but Killian stood as well blocking her, a last ditch desperate attempt "Swan," He started that man sitting there" he gestured to Hook "you don't know him." He warned her, eyes serious. He wanted to tell her to stay away from him entirely but Killian also knew Emma wasn't about to do that. "Just be…careful." He pleaded with her, his voice slightly shaky at the idea of what Captain Hook was capable of doing to his precious Swan if she pushed him to far. 

Emma met his eyes full on with a delightful smirk "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous." She told him, her knowing green eyes full of mischief. Killian glowered at her and walked off. Of course he was jealous. He would be jealous of any man who got to spend that kind of time with the woman he loved. But it wasn't just jealously that was creeping in him, it was fear. Fear of what Hook would do if Emma got him too riled up. Killian remembered many a bar wench who had teased the captain into thinking he could have them, and he had most always eventually taken them, whether they still wanted it or not, especially if he had had just a little too much to drink that night. One way or another, Captain Hook always got his woman. 

Once outside the tavern Killian breathed in the cool night air, trying to calm himself as well as shake off the hatred and self loathing he felt towards the Hook in the cavern. He was not that man anymore, he hadn't been for a long time. Plus, Emma was a beautiful grown woman, she had surely dealt with scum of the earth men like Hook in the past. Killian needed to trust that she knew how to handle herself, and them. And anyway, they were in the tavern and Hook always took his women in the privacy of his own ship, so there was no reason to fear.

Killian took another deep breath calming his nerves and clearing his head, trying not to think about what Emma's part of the plan was, but his part. He and headed off toward the Jolly Roger where hopefully Snow would be looking for transport soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Killian was sitting in the dark shadows of the quarters of his beloved ship. He hadn't seen her since he had traded her to Blackbeard for the magic bean but he had no time to relish in the pleasure of being home again. Snow White sat in front of him and he needed her to steal Charming's ring if he and Emma had a chance of making it back to their own time alive. Killian was almost done instructing her on what he needed when he heard a familiar voice up on deck "I've carried rum barrels heavier than you!"

Bloody hell...he thought. Hook had clearly gotten tired of Emma's teasing and chosen another, more willing, woman to take aboard his ship for the night. A small part of him felt relief that Emma was no longer in the company of his old self and was therefor safe, but the larger part of him was now worried for his own predicament he had suddenly found himself in. Killian turned back to Snow "You need to get off this ship NOW!" he said to her.

"But we haven't fini-" she began

Killian cut her off "Go to the tavern, I'll meet you there and we can finish our business." Snow didn't need to be told twice. Hearing the footsteps up on deck Killian opened the window for her and she quickly scurried out. She scaled the side of the ship with ease. Killian was about to follow when he came face to face with Emma.

"What are you doing I thought I told you to keep him occupied?!" He said to her, stunned to see her of all people here. He had assumed that Hook had been talking to woman up on deck but he had never thought that his Swan of all people would have accompanied the pirate captain back to his ship.

"I am!" Emma whispered defensively.

What the bloody hell is she thinking?! Killian wondered.

"By taking him back to my ship?" Killian questioned, the frustration coming through in his voice. He didn't like this, not one bit, but they didn't have time to argue, they needed to get out of there.

"His ship." Emma reminded him hurriedly, stealing a glance behind her for Hook.

"You know what I mean.." was all KIllian was able to get out as Emma looked at him a bit frantically. His presence there an obvious surprise to her, like Killian was somehow the last person she had thought she would run into here.

"I'm sorry I thought you'd be gone by now. I'll try and keep him above deck so you can get out of here." She said to him hurriedly. 

What the bloody hell did that mean? Killian wondered again. What had Emma planned on doing if he hadn't been here? He was about to ask her as much when he saw a pair of boots coming down the ladder behind her and so Killian quickly ducked into the shadows. Emma turned just in time to see Hook smiling drunkenly at her.

"Now, what are you doing down here?" Hook asked her.

"Nothing, just got tired of waiting" Emma replied her voice sultry. Killian then watched in absolute horror as Emma grabbed Hook by the lapels of his coat and kissed him passionately.

Jealously and rage flared in Killian like wildfire. He knew what the man kissing Emma was like and he didn't want him within a hundred miles of her, let alone touching her the way that he was now. Hook wasn't good enough for Emma and didn't deserve her. Yet Emma herself seemed less than concerned about Hook as they passionately continued to kiss.

Emma opened her eyes and they met Killian's jealous ones hiding in the dark shadows of the cabin. She gestured for him to go but he didn't. She pulled back from Hook smiling at him.

"Apologies," Hooked said, holding tightly to Emmas waist, to keep himself from falling over in a drunken stupor. "A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full, and prompt attention." Killian knew what that meant, and he could take it no longer. He snuck out of the shadows behind Hook, stretched his hooked arm out grabbing Hook by the shoulder spinning him around, punching him as  
hard as he could, right in the face. Hook collapsed to the ground, totally out cold.

"Seriously how is that not going to have consequences!?" Emma screeched at Killian while gesturing to Hooks now unconscious body lying on the ground.

"He was asking for it! And like I said he'll blame the rum." Killian replied. The only consequences Killian saw were protecting the woman he loved from his former self and maybe a splitting headache for past Hook in the morning, but with the amount of alcohol the  
pirate had consumed, that was bound to happen anyway. Killian was still reeling that Emma had even let that man touch her, but he chocked back his anger and turned to her "look" he said "we need to get off this ship, I'll go up first and get my crew off deck, then you get yourself to the tree line, at the top of the hill. I have to go finish my business with Snow."

"You're not finished?" Emma griped at him. Killian just gave her a hard look but continued.

"when I'm done I'll meet you there." Emma was clearly still annoyed but nodded in agreement. Killian looked down at Hook, still unconscious and then back up at Emma "Right, give me two minutes, then make your escape." Killian looked at her worriedly,  
not wanting to leave her alone with Hook again, even if he was unconscious. But he needed to give her time to escape so he had no other real option. "Are you sure you'll-" he started.

"I'll be fine." Emma answered him quickly. When he didn't move right away she placed a soft hand on his forearm. She smiled and said more softly "Really." She said reassuringly. Killian looked down at where she was touching him. Trying to keep his breathing steady.

"Right, two minutes." He reminded her giving her a tight smile. He had a bad feeling about this but again they didn't have any other real options. Killian turned to head up the ladder, when he suddenly stopped. He turned to Emma and before he could stop himself he quickly reached out, tangling his fingers in her golden hair and yanked her towards him, colliding his lips firmly with hers.

In that short instant Killian tried to put all the love and worry he had for the woman in his arms that kiss. If Hook could kiss Emma like she didn't matter than KIllian could kiss her and try to remind her that she did. Before Emma respond in any real way, he had already pulled away. He gave her a smirk and a wink and scurried up the ladder and disappeared.

Emma breathed heavily. She wanted to be infuriated with KIllian for kissing her but she wasn't. Although it had been fast and hard his lips had been soft and warm. Emma shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. She began counting, pacing the floor, counting quietly as she did. when she got to 150 Mississippi (just for good measure) she lifted her hood and began making her way up the ladder. She was on the third rung when she was suddenly yanked backwards by a sharp metal hook and a rough voice asked  
"Where do you think you're going Lass?"


	3. Chapter 3

On the docks, Killian watched his crew leave for the tavern, then looked worriedly back at the Jolly Roger, waiting for Emma to appear and make her escape, when he heard someone behind him.

"Are you sure you're alright captain?" Smee asked him anxiously "Something seems very wrong, and what about that woman you were just with?"

Killian turned his back to his beloved ship and toward his first mate angrily. "That is none of your concern." He told him in the most commanding voice he could muster, trying to sound like his old self.  
"I know but-" Smee began

"Listen very closely Mr. Smee, what I do and who I spend my time with is none of your business and you'd best to drop this topic now before I-"

Killian looked up just in time to see a brown hooded figure pass quickly by them in the direction of the woods, he let out a sigh of relief. Good, she's off, he thought now I just need to make sure Snow heads in the right direction and we can get the bloody hell back to our own time.

However the gnawing feeling that Killian had had ever sense he had thought of this plan didn't totally stop.

"No, no captain, I understand, I won't bring it up again" Smee was saying hurriedly taking Killian's distracted silence as a threat. Killian looked back at Smee, a little less angry now knowing Emma had safely gotten away. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Smee was asking him.

"Yes," Killian replied "you can get the bloody hell out of my sight for the rest of the night."

"Yes, captain" Smee said, bowing his head and retreating from the docks. Killian watched as his first mate retreated, His insides still gnawing at him. He knew it was just anxiety from being separated from Emma so he quickly sped off to find Snow. The sooner  
they were done the sooner he would see Emma's smile again.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma's heart stopped, Hook had her tight in his grasp. She was trapped between him and the wall and she couldn't move. She tried squirming away but that only made the pirate hold her tighter. "I'm leaving" she stated. She wasn't afraid, she had been in plenty of situations in the past where some drunk guy had gotten to handsy and needed to be taught what the word "no" meant. Besides, she knew Killian wouldn't ever hurt her. He may make plenty of scathing remarks and innuendos that made her want to kill him (or kiss him depending on her mood) or even kiss her by surprise like he just had, but Emma trusted him and knew that beyond a doubt he would never force himself on her in that way, no matter how drunk he was.

"Like bloody hell you are." Hook said angrily, his words slurring a bit.

"Yes I am." Emma angry. Who the hell did Killian (well technically Hook, but still) think he was? She was not staying, she was leaving. Now.

Emma went for the hail marry pass, jerking her knee up forcefully, hoping to land Hook in the crotch so she could make her get away, but Hook swerved out of her way laughing darkly.

"Well that's not very kind of you love, I thought we were going to have some fun." Hook licked his lips and flicked his tongue looking at her as if he was a starving animal about the devour its meal.

Emma seized up at his words, reminded of what Killian had said to her in Neverland. "No-" she began again but it was too late. Hook's lips crashed into hers so forcefully her head hit the cabin wall behind her with a loud bang. Hook forced her mouth open and shoved his tongue in as deeply as it would go. He pressed her firmly to the wall, rubbing himself against her, his bulge pressing against so she could feel exactly where he was going with this.

Hook then spun her around, keeping her trapped to his chest and attacked her neck with his lips. Sucking and nipping at her pulse. Emma moaned. She couldn't help it, it was rough but it felt so good. She forgot where she was and leaned her head to the side giving Hook more access to her long neck. Hook suddenly ripped open her corset with his namesake appendage. His hand groped at her chest and the metal of his hook rubbed at her pert nipples. Emma let out another moan, unable to hold back once again. How many times had she fantasized of Killian doing just this?

Emma was terrified of her confused feelings for Killian and even more terrified about his unconfused feelings for her. However she was still a woman and not impervious to his good looks and charm. That's why she had let herself get slightly carried away earlier with Hook. She had thought that she was just having some well deserved fun. Some flirting, some drinks, a passionate kiss that didn't have to mean anything and that didn't hurt anyone.  
Emma knew that the more sensible part of her should be trying to break free from Hooks grasp but she didn't want to. she was so tired of running from this and it felt so good. So Emma gave finally into her desire for Killian that had always been bubbling just below the surface, letting the pirate ravage her. She was tired of pushing Killian away and tired and running from this when it felt so,damn, good.


	5. Chapter 5

Killian swiftly but carefully made his way towards the woods where he had told Emma to wait, still keeping his head down as to assure no one would see him. Finishing his business with Snow had taken longer than he had expected it too. Some of the evil queens soldiers had come into the tavern and He and Snow had been forced to sneak out the back and her into the back of an unsuspecting peddlers wagon, that was headed in the direction of Midas's castle.

Killian lightly brushed his fingers to his lips, still feelings Emma's there. He knew she was probably going to give him hell for that as soon as they were reunited, but he didn't care, it had been worth it. If Emma was okay with Hook kissing her with nothing but lust for her body on his mind, then he deserved to remind Emma just how much he, Killian actually loved her.

As Killian made his way closer towards the trees he half expected Emma to pop out from somewhere to yell at him for his indiscretion and lateness. When she didn't he called out in a whisper "Swan?"

He saw nothing.

"Swan!?" He called out louder and more frantically this gnawing feeling he had had in his gut from the moment he left her in the tavern went into overdrive. Killian began panicking, frantic to find her. He looked out, from where he was at the top of the the hill he could see the entire village, it was small and dark but he saw no trace of her.

Beyond the village was the docks and the Jolly Roger where he had left the unconscious Ho-

NO! he thought, Emma!

Suddenly the anxiety and panic that he had been feeling all night overtook him and he began sprinting down the hill no longer being careful of who saw him for he knew exactly where she was.

She had never made it off the ship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR ASSAULT AND NON/CON

Hook forcefully threw Emma across the desk, banging her head hard on a metal object. "OOOWW!" Emma yelled out in pain. Hook was working his laces open with his hook and had his other hand forcefully on her breast, groping it hard enough to bruise and keeping her from being able to move. 

Emma raised her hand to the back of her head and pulled it away again to see blood. This along with a sharp twist to her nipple finally seemed to bring Emma out of the lust filled haze she had been in up to thins point. She had always liked it rough, she was no breakable flower, but this was a bit to much even for her, she was really hurt. She saw Hook standing above her. Surely now he would stop and help her to her feat and maybe even help her off the ship and to her own Hook, or even just to a doctor who could help with her head. But he wasn't. Hook saw the blood and simply smiled wickedly at her and continued to keep her from getting up from his desk. Emma let out another yelp of pain as Hook bent down to bite her breast, hard. 

Emma didn't understand why he was acting this way. She was obviously hurt but Killian would never hurt her. He could never bare to even see her hurt in any way. So why was he being so ruff with her? That's when Emma looked up at the man before her then, really seeing him clearly for the first time that night. KIllian's piercing blue eyes usually filled with kindness and humor were clouded and filled with darkness. In them she saw a multitude of emotions but mostly she saw hate, anger, vengeance, and lust. His eyes hadn't been this way at the tavern, he had disguised it well and she hadn't thought much about how his eyes were slightly different from the man she knew, chalking it up to the rum. But now, Hook was no longer trying to hide the darkness that was within him from her. A shiver went down Emma's spine.

No, Killian Jones would never hurt her but this wasn't Killian, this was Hook.

And Hook didn't give a damn what he did to her.

Another painful bite to her breast made Emma cry out in pain again, pleading with Hook to stop. She now realized that that the man doing this to her wasn't Killian and that this man didn't care about her, because she knew that Killian would never do this to her.

Hook seemed to be having trouble with his laces and so he briefly took his hands off her to try and relieve his aching member. Emma saw this as her only chance to escape so she got up and ran for the ladder, but Hook caught her and threw her once again on her back on top of his desk. Emma cried out in pain again. Emma looked up and Hooks eyes were angrier and hungrier then she had ever seen anyone's. He yanked her arms up over her head and trapped them there with his hook, pressing hard into the wood of the desk. He sneered at her mockingly.

"Oh bravo lass, that was a fair attempt but you see, Captain Hook always gets what he wants." His glare sent a shiver through her spine, but Emma met his mocking words with some of her own, she was a fighter after all and she had never just given in or given up in her life. If Hook was going to do this to her, then she was going to go down fighting.

"Except for your revenge on the crocodile." Emma said and spit at him, hitting him in the eye, she no longer cared what he did to her, she was not going down without a fight. 

"Oh you'll pay for that, love" Hook said to her. He angrily shoved a nearby rag in her mouth gagging her. He then got onto the desk himself, straddling her small frame and slapped her hard several times across the face. Emma tried move, to remove the gag, to kick Hook off, but she couldn't. She couldn't even move between his hook holding her hands in place above her and the weight of his body on top of her own. Plus all of her attempts to free herself only seemed to make Hook more determined.

Hook began working his way down her body with his mouth,stopping at her breasts as he sucked and bit as her nipples.

This is it Emma thought to herself a lone solitary tear escaping her eye and stinging her cut face.

She pleadingly searched Hooks eyes looking for any sign of her Killian in there, but she found none. Only an angry, drunk Hook.

Emma suddenly realized that all she wanted was Killian, and not just for a quick passionate roll in the sheets, or a one time thing, like she had originally thought, but forever. Emma wanted Killian's strong protective arms wrapped around her. Killian's soft loving lips against hers. Killian's gentle ringed fingers caressing her cheek and tangling in her hair. And most of all she wanted Killian's piercing blue,kind, loving eyes looking straight into her soul, reading her like an open book, the way he had been able to do from the very first moment they had met. She wanted Killian, the man she loved.

Emma knew that anyone would say that what she was suddenly feeling was Stockholm syndrome, love for her captor in order to mentally handle what was happening to her, because the man doing this to her technically was Killian Jones but Emma knew differently.  
Firstly this man was not Killian and secondly and more importantly, Emma realized that she had fallen in with love Killian long before this awful ordeal had begun. She didn't know when exactly. He had snuck up on her, gotten under her skin, and wormed his way into her heart. She had just been running from it. Running from him, afraid of what would happen if she let him in.

Oh the irony Emma thought to herself with dark sarcasm as Hook moved his mouth to her other breast.

Killian had been right of course, right about everything. Emma could see a happy future in Storybrooke, a future that included him, but she had been too afraid of it. If she hadn't been such a coward, then she wouldn't have run off during the party and Killian wouldn't have chased after her, trying to convince her to stay. They wouldn't have been anywhere near Zelena's time portal when it opened and Killian wouldn't have followed her when she had gotten sucked through it. The two of them wouldn't have interrupted her parents meeting, forcing them to use Hook's ship and needing to distract past Hook at the tavern, as a way of fixing what they had done. And above all else, If Emma hadn't been so eager with Hook do to her own repressed feelings for Killian this wouldn't be happening.

It's all my fault Emma thought to herself, and now I may never see Killian or my family ever again.

Emma had no idea of what Hook's plan was once he was finished with her but she had a feeling that it wasn't a good one. From his rough treatment of her she assumed that he wasn't about to just let her go, especially after her insubordination towards him. She was probably going to be locked up and kept as a play thing for him and his crew or worse, she would fade away from existence all together considering how her and Killian had failed in reuniting her parents. Emma wasn't a religious person but in that moment she prayed to whatever god there was that she would live through this and be able to return to her Killian and her time once Hook was finished with her body.  
Hook finally pulled away from her breasts, he had been stroking his cock all this time with his free hand as he had taken her in his mouth. However he was apparently unable to take it anymore he began gathering her skirts. She felt cold metal between her legs and her panties were ripped away by the pirates shark hook.

"So lass, lets see what happens when I jab you with my sword." Hook heatedly said. Emma looked up and saw him readying himself to plunge into her.

Emma leaned back on the table and closed her eyes.

This is it she thought.

Emma closed her eyes even tighter, as tightly as she could. In her mind she went to her happy place; in Killian's safe and loving arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Emma suddenly felt the wait of Hook being thrown off of her and an enraged roar of furry. She opened her eyes in time to see Hook being thrown across the room by a dark figure. It was Killian, her Killian. She quickly sat up and took the gag  
out of her mouth, lowering her skirts and covering herself the best she could.

Killian shoved Hook up against the wall and began beating him senseless, furious roars of anger exploding from his lips with every swift blow. Within seconds Hook's face was bloodied. Emma suddenly saw a new soft scar appear on Killian's own face in correspondence to where he had just torn at Hooks cheek with his own hook. Killian then held Hook firmly to the wall and drew his sword to the pirates neck. "Lets see what happens when I jab you with my sword!" Killian growled fiercely at him, about to slit Hook's throat, murder blazing in his blue eyes.

"Killian! No! Don't!" Emma shouted, quickly jumping up from the table and grasping Killian's arm attempting to lower it from the bloodied pirates throat. "You can't kill him!"

"Why not!" Killian yelled back, enraged.

"BECAUSE HES YOU!" Emma shouted at him desperately.

"I know," Killian angrily "that's the point Swan, I deserve to die for this."

"That doesn't matter!" Emma yelled frantically trying to get through to him "I need you!" Killian didn't answer her, he just kept his sword to Hooks throat while Hook just glared at him unable to wriggle free from Killians grasp.

Emma reached up and placed her hand on Killian's face, slowly it softened under her touch. "I need you." She repeated softly stroking his cheeks and pushing the hair from his eyes. When he finally turned to look at her she could see tears in his blue eyes, but beyond that she saw the love and kindness that she had always known, the love and kindness that Hooks eyes didn't have.

"Emma," he breathed heart brokenly.

"Killian, put the sword down, we have to go, he has to live." Emma said softly pulling Killian's arm away.


	8. Chapter 8

"Do you remember anything." Emma asked him softly. Looking at her from across the fire he saw that her knees were pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. Pain, intense and overwhelming ripped through Killian's body at her question, eyes once again beginning to water he said "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it."

"No I meant-" Emma started but Killian cut her off

"Aye, I know what you meant love, and no, I don't." After Emma had somehow convinced Killian that killing his former self was not going to do any of them any good (especially for him) she had doused Hook with forgetful dust that Rumplestilskin had given them, claiming that they were "bound to screw something else up." 

After they left the ship they had gone back to the forest. Emma had found a small stream where she was able to clean her self up a bit. Washing the cuts on her face and washing off the blood. She had asked him to check the wound at the back of her head, make sure that it wasnt still bleeding. Killian had only came as close as he dared not wanting her to feel his touch, knowing it must disgust her. But he had to see if the wound was bad, however when he confirmed that it was just a surface wound and had already stopped bleeding, probably shortly after recieving it, Killian retreated from her again. His head down, hand and hook deep within his pockets. They had then made camp and built a small fire. Killian sat across from Emma and tried to control his tears every time he looked into her face. Upon seeing her reflecion in the stream Emma had essentially just brushed off her injuries, claiming that they weren't that bad. Just some minor scrapes, not even a black eye. KIllian had made a pained noise at that remark but did nothing else. Objectively, Killian knew she was right and she could've been hurt a lot worse. But that didn't make things any better. Plus Killian could see the bite marks Emma was trying to hide from him under her cloak. He had never felt so disgusted with himself. He didn't know what must have taken over Hook in those moments, even as a pirate Hook had never been as violent as he had been with Emma. Part of Killian knew it was because Hook had never needed to, most, if not all women were willing, and even the ones that weren't were pretty easily convinced. He just didn't understand how he could've ever let this happen...

He had thought he had felt the worst pain in his life. His Mothers death. His father abandoning him and his brother. Liams Death. Milahs death. Emma and Henry leaving before the second curse. Emma insistence on leaving him again. But none of that compared in comparison to the pain he felt now. Emma was lost to him forever, because he had hurt and violated her in the worst way.

Killian glared into the fire, wollowing in self loathing and hatred. Unable to get the images of the scene he had just witnessed out of his head. Emma trapped and defenseless against Hook's angry, drunken assault. She had already been brutalized and about to be raped... Killian held back a sob at the thought. He couldn't believe Emma had convinced him to let Hook live.

Despite what Emma thought Killian fully understood the fact that killing Hook would have meant an end to his own life, and he really didn't care. No one should ever get away with treating a woman that way, let alone his beloved Swan, including himself. If it had been any other man Killian would have killed him on the spot. And he believed that his punishment should be no less. He deserved to die for what he had done and had almost done to Emma. The only reason he hadn't killed Hook was because Emma still needed Killian's help to get home. But once he made sure she was safely reunited with her family in their own time Killian intended to leave Storybrooke and never return. He didn't want Emma to be reminded of the violent assault she had just lived through every time she looked at him. It would break him, to leave her, but it would hurt just as bad for her to look at him with hatred and disgust for the rest of his life.

What might have been between them was now gone for good and Killian knew it. His heart broke again just thinking about it. He should have known his past would comeback to haunt him, making bloody well sure he would never get his happy ending. In all his years he had never thought his villainous deeds would ruin him quite so literally, but it didn't matter. What's done was done and there was nothing he could do to make up for it, except get her home and then leave her to live out the rest of her life in peace, without him.

Killian was so trapped in his own self loathing thoughts that he hadn't realized Emma had come to sit down next to him. He felt her fingers lightly touch his furrowed brow.

"Hey," she whispered her voice as soft as silk "It's fine, I'm okay." Killian looked at her horror washing over his face and the rage he had been containing inside himself ever since they left the ship suddenly broke free again.

"It is certainly not FINE Emma!" He spat at her "What he did - what I DID to you - is not FINE!"

"What you did was save me." Emma said to him gently not at all affected by his words or his obvious rage.

"Save you from myself and my own evil doings!" Killian shot back at her as he got up from the log they were sitting on, pacing away from her.

"That wasn't you." Emma said quickly catching up to him.

Killian turned on her "Aye, then, if it wasn't me then why did you keep me from killing him?" Killian questioned her angrily. 

"What I meant was that it wasn't who you are now." Emma reminded to him determinedly, a fierceness in her green eyes.

"That doesn't matter!" Killian raved.

"Yes it does!" Emma countered "The man I know would never hurt me, would never treat me, or any woman the way that Hook did just now."

Killian looked at her coldly "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." Was all he could manage to say to her.

"He was drunk," Emma said "I kept giving him drinks all night! He was very, very drunk, thanks to me, and I got him riled up! I was a tease! I shouldn't have-"

Killian grabbed a hold of Emma's arms tightly and shook her "Emma! Don't you DARE try and blame yourself for what just happened!"Killian yelled, his eyes fiery with anger and pain as they bored into hers. Emma flinched at his tight grasp and the proximity his face was to hers as he screamed.

At her flinch Killian quickly let go, remembering that she probably never wanted him to touch her ever again. But Emma didn't walk away she just looked up into his pained eyes, now brimming with tears.

Emma reached up again to stroke his face. Killian flinched but didn't pull away. "Okay" Emma said quietly as she lightly brushed the hair from his watering eyes. "Ok, it wasn't my fault, but it wasn't your fault either..." Emma looked at him. All she wanted to do was make his pain go away. Why couldn't he see what she saw. The the man who had assaulted her wasn't him, at least not anymore, maybe it never had been. Emma vaguely remembered the dirty looks given to her by the other women Hook had been sitting with before she had taken up all his attention. One of them had even been serving him drinks until they left Also Emma hadn't thought much of it at the time but, one of them had even told her to have a 'good night' with a smarmy smirk on her face as Emma and Hook had left the tavern. Maybe one of those women had slipped him something to make him more violent with her as some sort of revenge. She remembered hearing cases about that sort of thing happening in her world, so why not in the Enchanted Forrest as well... 

Killian was having none of her arguments "No Swan, it bloody well was my-" Killian shook his head and began to pull away from her but Emma clasped his face in both her hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes. Emma saw the amount of pain, self hatred, and still all encompassing love reflected in them. Emma then knew deep down in her sole that Killian, no matter how dark of a place he was in, would never treat a woman that way. She was very sure now that something else had taken place that night, something beyond Hook's control.

Emma continued to hold his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. "I think you were drugged." Emma told him quietly. 

"What?" Killian responded, momentary shock crossing his features.

Emma explained about the other women in the bar and her suspicions about how they could've slipped him something to make him more violent. People drugging others for various reasons happened all the time in her world and despite being in the Enchanted Forest Emma had learned that people were people, no matter what the time or realm.

Killian just looked at her pain and sorrow clouding his features. He wanted it to be true. He wanted an excuse, a reason, an explanation other than it was his own actions that had hurt Emma so badly, but he couldn't. Firstly there was no proof, and without his memories of the night there never would be. Secondly he wasn't that lucky as to have a reasonable explanation like that for his horrific actions. And lastly but most importantly, it didn't matter. What happened had still happened and there wasn't a thing he could do to change that.

"No, Emma," Killian finally said turning away from Emma and pulling her hands from his face "Even if that's true it doesn't matter, I still-" Killian choked on another sob unable to actually say the words "I still did those terrible things to you." he said in a horse whisper, looking down at the ground and letting out another strangled sob.

"Look at me." Emma demanded. When Killian didn't Emma said it again this time more forcefully "Dammit Killian! Look at me!" It was hearing his name, his real name on her lips that finally mad him look up and meet her gaze. Emma saw nothing but pain and sorrow reflected in his too blue eyes.They weren't anything like Hook's eyes, clouded with darkness, hate and vengeance. No Killian's eyes were clear and bright despite the pain that was clearly etched across them. Emma knew that she could look into his eyes forever. Eyes were the windows to the soul and Killian Jones soul was as good as it came. Emma pulled his face to hers and kissed him passionately then. When he didn't respond she just kissed him harder.

Eventually Killian gave in and kissed her back. Desperation, anger, relief, self loathing, love, joy, fear all washing through him in a confusing and overwhelming mess as her pressed her body close to his and tangled his hand in her hair.

He had to make sure she was real, that she was alive and well and not still trapped in that monsters lair. Emma just kissed him back with all the passion in the world. Eventually he pulled away, needing air and to clear his conflicting thoughts and emotions. Emma breathed heavily, but she kept her hands on his face, eyes still boring into his."It wasn't you." She finally said, catching her breathe "It was Hook. A drugged Hook. You risked your life and followed me here. You went and got me in New York. You saved me just now. I love you."

"Emma..." Killian breathed looking deep into her eyes. His were still filled with pain but behind that pain Emma saw a glimmer of hope and of course she also saw his all consuming love her her. Nothing like Hook's eyes. "You can't mean…not after what just happened…"

"Yes, I do." She interjected "I love you. No matter who you once were or what you did. You've changed. Really and truly changed and I love you. I never want to be without you ever again."

Killian looked at Emma his heart swelling to enormous size, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. She loved him? After everything she had just seen? After everything he had done? She still wanted to be with him? He couldn't believe it. For once in his life words failed him. He didn't know whether to rejoice or question her sanity.

"Emma, I…" was all he could get out before she put her finger to his lips.

"Don't leave me Killian. Everyone leaves. I know what you're thinking, I can see it in your eyes and I'm asking you now, don't leave me. I know that after everything that's just happened you're thinking I'll be better off without you around, but I promise you, I won't. I want you, I need you and I love you so please…please don't go anywhere." Emma choked out the last part, tears finally spilling over on her face.

Killian looked at her. When he had found her she hadn't been crying the way he had expected her to be, and he had seen no evidence that she had shed a single tear during the entire ordeal. Emma was strong and brave and not afraid of anything. But this, the idea of him leaving her was enough to bring her to tears. He brought her close to him then, hugging her tightly to his body.

"As you wish." He whispered into her hair. "I won't leave, it would kill me to leave you now. I love you Emma, more than I've ever loved anything in all the realms." He said pulling her back and looking her in the eye. She smiled at him through her tears.

"I know, I love you too." She said. He kissed her then, finally letting himself revel in her words, his disgust for himself melting away ever so slightly. He didn't know if he would ever truly forgive himself for what had occurred that night but at this moment he didn't care. Emma loved him. Despite all his many flaws. Emma saw past the villain that he had once truly been. She had seen him at his absolute worst and loved him despite it all and that was enough for him to be happy forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. As always likes, comments, kudos, follows mean the world to me


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